New Makeup, Coz I'm Kikay Like Dat

Balmbini Volume 2 by theBalm. In the palette: Promiscuous Pearl (Highlighter), Jinxy Jasmyne (Shadow/Liner), Manic Maribel, Open to Offers Olwen, Lavish Latoya, Strawberry (Lip & Cheek cream), and Nude (lipgloss).

I like all the colors, can easily go from day to night. The highlighter is extremely glossy, so no need to put a lot unless you want to look like a disco ball. Tried out this palette along with my Pout Paints (minx), and I noticed that the colors are less intense than they look on the pan.

Balmbini Volume 2

What I used: Balmbini Volume 2 all eye colors, In-2-It turquoise liquid liner, Pout Paints in Minx, Body Shop loose powder

The next set is my (real) Physician's Formula mineral bronzer and (fake) Benefit Hey Girl! Eyeshadow. Tried these out, and they're pretty good, even if the Benefit palette is just a rip off. The colors look very natural, good for everyday errands.

Benefit counterfeit and Physician's Formula

And then for the holidays, I got me a real shiny nail polish, Revlon Top Speed in Sheer Pearl. That's all haha. :)

It's that time again! Call for Manuscripts to the 52nd Silliman National Writers Workshop

The Silliman University National Writers Workshop is now accepting applications for the 52nd National Writers Workshop to be held 6—24 May 2013 at the Silliman University Rose Lamb Sobrepeña Writers Village.



This Writers Workshop is offering twelve fellowships to promising writers in the Philippines who want to have a chance to hone their craft and refine their style. Fellows will be provided housing, a modest stipend, and a subsidy to partially defray costs of their transportation.

To be considered, applicants should submit manuscripts in English on or before 15 January 2013. All manuscripts should comply with the instructions stated below. (Failure to do so will automatically eliminate their entries).

Applicants for Fiction and Creative Nonfiction fellowships should submit three to four (3-4) entries. Applicants for Poetry fellowships should submit a suite of seven to ten (7-10) poems. Applicants for Drama fellowship should submit at least a One-Act Play. For plays beyond the one-act length, a scene accompanied by a synopsis of the entire work should be included.

Each fiction, creative nonfiction, or drama manuscript should not be more than 50 pages, double spaced. We encourage you to stay well below the 50 pages, since a submission half that length is more than sufficient as a critical gauge.

Manuscripts should be submitted in five (5) hard copies. They should be computerized in MS Word, double-spaced, on 8.5 x 11 inches bond paper, with approximately one-inch margin on all sides. The page number must be typed consecutively (e.g., 1 of 30, 2 of 30, and so on) at the center of the bottom margin of each page. The font should be Book Antiqua or Palatino, and the font size should be 12.

The applicant’s real name and address must appear only in the official application form and the certification of originality of works, and must not appear on the manuscripts.

Manuscripts should be accompanied by the official application form, a notarized certification of originality of works, and at least one letter of recommendation from a literature professor or an established writer.  All requirements must be complete at the time of submission.

Send all applications or requests for information to Department of English and Literature, attention Prof. Ian Rosales Casocot, Workshop Coordinator, 1/F Katipunan Hall, Silliman University, 6200 Dumaguete City. For inquiries, email us at silliman.cwc@gmail.com or call 035-422-6002 loc. 350.

In Other News: Published In Paper Wasp, Australia

Yahoo! Six of my haiku were selected for this issue :)

They're only available in print, so I'm posting them here:

drooping eyelids 
a last waft of burnt marshmallows

billboard space
where the house used to be
still available

searching for rainbows
in a cloudless sky
piles of slippers for sale

sweeping 
dust clouds swirl 
around my dustpan

sidewalk trees 
at road’s end 
a grasshopper green car

tangerine slice 
white tracks 
from a stolen bite

Thought I'd Never Write Fiction Again

Really. I dunno what happened. I used to dream of writing multiple novels, because back in 2010, that was all I wanted to do. I'd sit in a corner in the library and write away. I finished my 100K novel in less than a year, the revisions took a lot longer.

And then the frenzy stopped. The well was dry. No inspiration to write the sequels to the story. I tried, because I believed in discipline. But I just felt like I was bleeding every time I tried to write.

The bleeding ended when I tried out poetry. For some reason, the well had filled up again in reading and writing poems. I've been writing nothing but poems since then, and it's been more than a year since I last wrote fiction. I think maybe it's been 2 years? I can't remember.

But I woke up one morning with a strong idea that felt whole and ready to be fleshed out in the word. I wrote a new story this week, and it's ready to be revised. I hope it's good! :) I'll try to submit it somewhere once I'm done weeding out the unnecessaries.

Haiku Ha-ha

There's this running joke among writers about the haiku. Haiku are apparently so easy any good poet shouldn't be focusing on them if he wants to get anywhere in his career, or if he doesn't want to be the butt of jokes. Try to introduce yourself to a group of Filipino literati by saying something like: "Oh, I write haiku" and expect to be met with silent giggles or evasive looks.

This is just my observation. And honestly, I'm not sure if they make fun of the haiku form because they don't understand the Zen Moment required to write a good one... or if they simply don't have skill in the short forms. Of course, making fun of something you don't understand is the easiest way to get out of having to write it. It's easy to say "I don't write haiku because it doesn't make sense most of the time." "No one can or wants to make sense of haiku anyway."

Different strokes for different folks? I'd personally stop commenting on haiku and tanka writers and their work until I fully understand the intricacies of those short forms.

Hotel (Hygiene) Secrets

So you're staying at this 5-star hotel, huh? I bet the first thing you do in a nice hotel is plop down on the nice, soft, comforter-draped bed. I know I do. And I know I won't do that again.

Found this thread on Reddit baring all the filthy secrets of hotel cleaning (if they even really clean the rooms and draperies).

Did you know:

1. They don't really wash those glass cups in the bathroom? Especially if they look unused, the cleaners might wipe em a bit with a rag so they look clean, but you'd better wash yours before use.
2. That there fluffy looking comforter is also fluffy with dried jizz and bed bugs? You might not see em but they're there all right. One commenter said: 

   "I cleaned hotel rooms for two weeks. During my training, I once found an obvious jizz crust on the coverlet. I told the woman I was working with that it needed to be cleaned and she responded "Just wipe it with a damp cloth until you can't see it any more" like it was no big deal. Because, you know, blankets are just like hard surfaces and can be fixed with a wet rag.

   
   

   The sofa and couch you're sitting/lying on has been sat on by hundreds of naked people? Yeah, better be on the lookout for brown stains, if you know what I mean.

Check out the entire Reddit thread here and get enlightened!:D

Recap of My First Amateur Muay Thai Fight

I was recently invited to fight in the UKC (Ultimate Knockout Challenge), sponsored by Elorde Boxing Gym (I think). The event was held last Saturday, November 24, 2012. I had not planned to fight, really. I'd kinda given up on the idea because I became busy with work, plus I haven't been able to run as much because I also got lazy :P So my cardio has been poor.

But Kru Raul from Elorde Gym Don Antonio kept bugging me to sign up for the fight, so I finally decided to give it a try 4 weeks away from competition day (yeah, I'm a bit crazy. I know I need more time to prepare but what the heck).

So while I'm waiting for the video of the fight to be released, I'm recapping what I recall had happened that day:

I went to the venue scared out of my wits because I dunno what the eff I'd gotten myself into! I saw that my opponent had gained weight yet again. I'd been eating a lot the entire month because she was 5 lbs heavier 4 weeks ago. I didn't get to meet her during the weigh-in day before the fight. I found out on fight day that she'd gained another 2 lbs. I was 52Kg and she was 54Kg on fight day T_T

Anyway, my turn came. I went into the ring with my heart beating the crap out of me haha. But then, when I heard the bell, it's like there was a switch in my head. Time to fight. First round, I immediately set out giving her push kicks, as I was told to use my reach advantage by doing this. This certainly deterred her advance, and whenever I pushed her back, I'd follow with a quick, roundhouse to her ribs. My boyfriend said he counted about 8 push kicks (teeps) that went straight in. So I guess I managed about 4-5 roundhouse kicks by doing my combo. She caught 2 roundhouse kicks, which left her open, so I used several straight punches until she let go of my leg. When she caught one of my teeps, I kicked her some more until she had to let go of my foot. Otherwise all hits were clean, no checks or counter attacks from opponent.

My body vest and shin guards came off :( so they had to pause the fight to fix my gear. I had to keep fixing my goddamned head gear because it kept turning and blocking my eyes each time my opponent managed to straight punch me to the face.

When the fight continued, my opponent did a take down when I kicked and I fell on the canvas. I tried to exact vengeance by kicking her repeatedly. My jumping front kick pushed her into the ropes. Bell rung, end of round 1. My team mates said I was already ahead with my points. But I was feeling the effects of my lack of cardio T_T

2nd round, my opponent was charging at me with her haymaker. I kept her away with jabs or just keeping my left hand extended. She ate that glove several times but I don't think that counts as a point for me :P I did the push kick + roundhouse routine again to keep her away.

Middle of Round 2, I was breathing really hard, so I decided to lay off on the kicks. She advanced at me with continuous punches and pushed me back to the corner. This is where I kinda panicked because my headgear turned again and I couldn't see her. I was told I'd turned around and this caused the referee to do a count on me. This is apparently what you call a Standing Knockdown. I didn't know why the ref was counting so I asked him "Ano yan?" ("What's that?") and he said "Ay ok ka lang ba?" hahaha what comedy is this?

Anyway there wasn't much time left. I just tried to remedy the situation by clinching my opponent, almost managed to throw her down but she was pretty well grounded. The fight ended.

My opponent was announced winner by points. I'm going to ask one of my coaches how these points work because I honestly don't know. My goal was just to get clean kicks and punches in because I was told those are what matter. So far, I was told these are the reasons why I lost:

• I was told I wasn't aggressive enough, that my opponent was the one advancing (though I didn't think this was "aggression" because she obviously had to advance because she couldn't reach me). 

• And that I turned around at Round 2. Causing the ref to do a standing knockdown count.

I learned a lot in the fight. At least now I know what I should (more cardio) and shouldn't be doing (back-pedalling, turning around...).

The Disappointing Filipino

Filipino? What is a Filipino? What have we become?

You know you're Filipino when you:

1. Take any or all the lanes despite the fact that there's a Motorcycle Lane for motorcycle drivers like you.
2. Drive on sidewalks because it helps you bypass traffic.
3. Cross the highway despite the fact that there's a footbridge right beside you.
4. Tailgate an ambulance to get through the heavy EDSA traffic.
5. Cut lines. For you, lines are made to be cut.
6. Don't offer your seat to pregnant women.
7. Don't offer your seat to senior citizens.
8. See that someone has forgotten her cellphone and decide to keep the cellphone because it's your "lucky day."
9. Tamper your taxi meter with this thing called batingting.
10. Accept kotong.
11. Are a fixer.
12. You've used a fixer.
13. Require additional money, aka pampadulas, to process government documents like building permits.
14. Bomb beautiful reefs to catch fish.
15. Pick on #Amalayer girl but proceed maltreating your helpers.
16. Think you're an edukada just because you can speak English.
17. Make it your goal to go abroad, work and make loads of dollars.
18. Vote your favorite artista into the Senate or Presidency because fuck progress.
19. Don't think for yourself because the "Church said so."
20. Massacre the media to hide your dirt.
21. Stop the passing of agrarian reforms because you're a haciendero.
22. Love People-Power-Ousting your presidents.
23. You obediently follow the rules in foreign lands, but ignore the ones here in the Ph.

Well, I can go on forever. We're quite a badass people, aren't we?

Posting Two Tankas of Mine that Appear in Atlas Poetica 13

The book is available for order at Amazon. Details here.

Here's the first, I got the idea for this while waiting for the train:
 
corroded tracks
the trains no longer run
sky rust at sunset
even heaven
comes and goes


This one, I thought of while at the dock in Boracay:
 

moss has grown
our boat rots on what’s left
of the shore
nothing to sail with
to the things we used to know

Two Poems in the PH Graphic Mag

They're already available in the newstands, I heard, but I can't seem to get my hands on a copy of the Philippines Graphic mag.

As I wrote last month, my poems "A Sense of Loss" and "Habagat" appear in the magazine's issue for the week of November 5, 2012. Posting them here:

A Sense of Loss

The body is a cruel thing

wise, like the spirit,

like that little voice within

that whispers of odds

something is changing

yet, while the voice can be silenced,

senses are always acknowledged

much like how, before rains,

my skin crawls as though beset

by unseen ghosts, passing.

Yes, the body knows,

but it doesn’t understand

there are things

we just don’t want to know.

You are the same

but I can’t ignore how

your skin on mine

has become an annoyance;

your voice some noise

that disrupts my reading.

Somehow, I’ve returned to days

when it didn’t make a difference

whether or not someone waited

or met me at the door

and what of this dizziness

frequent tremors

haunting migraines

fever and tasteless tongue?

It feels much like grief

but right now, I don’t have to

put a name to it.

Things are going so well

and we still have a movie to catch

this Saturday.

Habagat

Jesus walked on water

            when the rains hit

            we walked in smog-gray waters

            that rippled over our knees

            I imagined I was San Pedro

            but all I did was slosh and wade

Genesis 8:7-12

            we never got home

            mudwaters rose higher

            than the riverbank trees

        we were being punished

the bishops said

what did we do this time?

my brother is down there

I cried for forgiveness

On the third day, he rose again

            people reciting the Creed

            while I ate noodles and sardines

        in the tomb of the Cruz family

        they’re keeping the ghosts away

but I worried more for my brother

nowhere in this shelter

has he joined our many friends

previously buried by Ondoy?

Revelation           

they said you’re nameless

            rain or flood isn’t good enough

            to remember you by

            but I’ll always know you

            by my brother’s name…

            still missing. still missing.

Atlas Poetica 13 Now Available

Reposting from Atlas Poetica:

Keibooks Announces Atlas Poetica 13 : A Journal of Poetry of Place in Contemporary Tanka
Press Release – For Immediate Release – Please post to all appropriate venues
5 November 2012 – Perryville, Maryland, USA

Atlas Poetica 13, the latest installment of the prestigious tanka journal, is now available for purchase.
“Poet King, courtesan, leprechaun, child molester, monster. Images bright and dark, full of light and shadow, stretch across the years, the centuries, the millennia. This is what tanka poetry of place does best: to find the ‘Other’ and make it ‘Us.’ It is no longer the bones of strangers lying in the desecrated grave: it is our bones.”–from the editorial by M. Kei

Contributors to ATPO 13 include:
Alexander Jankiewicz, Anne Carly Abad, Autumn Noelle Hall, Bob Lucky, Bruce England, Chen-ou Liu, Christina Nguyen, Claire Everett, Dawn Bruce, Dawn Manning, Elizabeth Bodien, Elizabeth Moura, Genie Nakano, Gerry Jacobson, Gregory Longenecker,Guy Simser, James Won, Janet Lynn Davis, Jenny Ward Angyal, Joan E. Stern, Joy McCall, Kath Abela Wilson, Keitha Keyes, Kenneth Slaughter, LeRoy Gorman, Leslie Ihde, Lisa Tibbs, Lynda Monahan, M. Kei, Margaret Chula, Margaret Van Every, Marilyn Humbert, Mark Kaplon, Mel Goldberg, Mira N. Mataric, Nu Quang, Owen Bullock, Patricia Prime, Paul Mercken, Peggy Castro, Peggy Heinrich, Pravat Kumar Padhy, Sanford Goldstein, Sheila Sondik, Sonam Chhoki, stanley pelter, Susan Constable, Susan Diridoni, Taura Scott, Tish Davis, William Cullen, Jr.

Purchase direct from the printer at:
or at Amazon.com or your favorite online retailer.

Nongshim Shin Ramyun is Safe! :D

For instant noodle lovers like me, Korean ramyun is a must-eat. IT IS A MUST.

So imagine my devastation when my beloved noodles were banned from the market? These noodles are said to contain benzopyrene, a known carcinogen. I was in denial. I still kept eating my fave Shin Ramyun.

But then I decided to do some research. I wanted to prove that this ramyun isn't tainted. And guess what? We have good news! My fave Nongshim Shin Ramyun is benzopyrene free according to a study done in Thailand. 

My friend also linked the ingredients list to me. Yup, looks clean enough for me! *Slurp!*

 

Mt. Pico de Loro Trek

It was a normal morning. At around 3:30 am, Victor and I made our way to the rendezvous point for our Mt. Pico de Loro climb with the Jamboree Mountaineers. This isn't my first time going on a hike. I'd expected it to be pretty relaxed, like Gwanaksan and Yongmunsan in South Korea.

Breakfast at Gwanaksan with other exchange students

The path was rocky but not slippery

At Yongmunsan beside the 1,100 year old Ginkgo Tree (2008)

But hey! I was wrong :P It was pretty tough! The downhill climb was rigorous, but also amazing. The tree roots formed a sort of mud staircase that we traversed to get to the rest of the path. I saw an iguana, which we tried to photograph, but the pic became blurred for some reason.

The path was really slippery because of the mud, and I took it real slow coz aside from the fact that I was sore from muay thai training, I also had a hard time keeping my balance. I didn't want to get a sprained ankle before my fight on November 24.

After almost three hours of trekking, I was like, "This is supposed to be easy?" haha, but honestly, seeing the trees and dragonflies and lizards and frogs was worth it.
 

At the "big rock" landmark

 And then there was the first peak, where the wind was cutting cold, but the view, exhilarating.

With Joselle

Over there, is the Parrot's Peak (Beak?), the second peak, which I didn't have the courage to climb. I have a slight fear of heights, you know. Maybe when I'm braver, I'll climb it next time. But I heard I get to step on just a 12-inch slab of rock, below which is the no-survival cliff. :P

Victor and I stayed behind, where it was safer haha

Haggard me

Nightfall caught up to us on our way back to civilization. It was scary walking on the path and then realizing there's a cliff right beside you and you didn't notice coz it was too dark. But no one got hurt, and that's all that matters. I was dead tired after the climb, but it was darned fun. :)

Sexism, Strikeforce and the UFC

Fighting is a guy sport... which is also what they said about track and field, until women began to dominate marathons, half marathons and even mid distance divisions. I remember reading something before about a general who said that women shouldn't enter the military nor do sports because they bleed every month, something that makes women weak. It was a disgusting statement. Something inside me wanted to rebel, to prove the general wrong. That women can be just as good as men.

And then I stopped myself mid-thought. Why must women be as good as men? Just to point out the obvious, women are not men. Our bodies are different. We don't have the testosterone levels needed to bulk up and match the physical strength of males. No, but why does this mean we are inferior? It's like saying an apple is inferior to an orange. But is it? Maybe in some respects. An apple may have more fiber, but an orange has more calcium.

Men may have more muscle, but women have better oxygen and H20 economy.

I think this is why I was so disgusted when I read this article about the UFC finally allowing women to compete. Dana White (UFC President) was against this for a long time because there is a "dearth of quality women." I've idolized fighters like Blade (Christine Toledo) for a long time, and here's someone who says we lack quality female fighters.

But I think I understand. Indeed, I believe we do lack "quality" because the quality White is looking for is "Male" quality. Typical macho society ideal, a woman will only be good enough if she is like a man. Dana White on Strikeforce fighter Ronda Rousey:

"She's nasty. She's a real fighter...She's a dude in a girl's body."

Rousey is the reason why women can finally compete in the UFC. But I'm not sure if this is something to rejoice about, if this is a sign of "progress." I believe from here on, women will be expected to "fight like a man" to maintain the interest of audiences. Oh, but I forgot to mention that aside from having to fight like a man, a woman has to be pretty, too. The fighters who get famous, like Gina Carano, are appreciated because they're not only tough, but pretty, too. Without the pretty factor, a woman's athletic worth declines even if she takes first place.

It is in sports that the game of male superiority and female inferiority is played out most clearly. We have to face the fact that the pretty-and-athletic woman is still considered a "delicacy." People swarm to watch the likes of Maria Sharapova, because prettiness and a hot bod greatly augment athletic achievement. But women are still out of place in sports. While men only need to bother beating another guy in sports, in the end, women still have to prove that they can beat their female AND male counterparts in order to be accepted as a "quality" athlete.

Two of my poems accepted in the Philippines Graphic Magazine

So aside from me signing up for my first official Muay Thai fight (wtf did I get myself into???), I received an acceptance letter last night from Ms. Alma Anonas-Carpio of the Philippines Graphic Magazine. I'm so happy that I feel like I'm gonna do good in my first fight! I'm gonna train much harder starting today.

Here's the letter I got:

Hi Anne,

Thank you for submitting your poems to the Graphic. We have selected two of your poems, A Sense of Loss and Habagat, for our literary section. They are lovely pieces and it is our pleasure to carry them in our pages.

Alma Anonas-Carpio

Literary Editor

*Positive thinking*

My Tanka in RIBBONS: Tanka Society of America Journal

Here's my tanka, which appears in the Spring/Summer 2012 of TSA Ribbons:

I can't quench
my lover's thirst
so he sends me away
even an empty glass
is filled with air

The book can be ordered from Amazon but they're out of stock, I believe. The other seller that ships overseas is Lulu.com, link here.

Now Available: Contemporary Literary Review India October 2012

And it's out! The Contemporary Literary Review India, October 2012 is now available online and in print. The print version is available for order here.

Two of my poems, The Debt Comes Due and Reruns are featured in this issue. :)

Blogger Pageviews are all gone!

I've had this blog for years and it has a decent amount of pageviews and visits. BUT THEY'RE ALL GONE! My blogger records show I have zero (0) pageviews from year 2008 to 2012.

:/ :/ :/ Oh misery!

Food, Baking and Blogging

Forgot to blog about this random thing. Boyfriend and I wanted to do some baking. He really loves brownies so we set aside one day for this. We weren't able to buy some important ingredients, like chocolate chips, so we manually chopped (and chomped) up some Meiji Dark Chocolate.
Look at this mess!

Since we didn't have an oven at our disposal, we became resourceful and used the turbo broiler instead. The brownies were still a bit liquid in the middle, but they were yummy, nevertheless.

Oh, and by the way, we also launched (at last) our joint food blog where we show the world our food-loving (takaw) side. Hungry? Check out our tumblr, A Scale of Yum to Yuck, and we'll help you get hungrier. :)

Of Cowards and Fools

To the anonymous writer of "RH bill, Ateneo, and La Salle: Of lemons and cowards"

Get a friggin editor.

On a side note:
You, writer, are not making sense. You speak of moral cowardice, but what exactly do you mean by that? By taking a pro-RH stance, the Ateneo & La Salle professors ARE fighting for what they believe is morally right given the situation of the country. The Ateneo seeks intellectual DIALOGUE. You, as an educated individual, should know that this is vital to finding the best solutions. If you believe that the stand of the bishops is the ONLY morally correct stand, then you are not only being closed minded, you have taken doctrine into a position higher than the law of love that Christ himself taught.

So you say "pregnancy complications are not in the Top 10 causes of women's deaths," so therefore there is no need for an RH Bill that provisions solutions for lowering these deaths? What hypocrisy is this?! You could, in turn, say that since HIV/Aids is not a top killer in the country, there is also no need to use condoms! This is utter foolishness!

Oh wait, you have a solution already right? Natural Family Planning and Abstinence! Oh, wait again, in which statistical survey did those things succeed? Guess what, NOWHERE!

I think you and your kind are the cowards and lemons here. You cannot even think for yourself nor reveal your name. IF you truly want to critique the stand of the Ateneo & La Salle, then release a paper criticizing their stand, point-by-point. You just made yourself look eternally stupid by resorting to name-calling.

New Barbarian/Gladiator Look for My Warrior

I just love this tribal look for my Sylvari warrior. I think it fits her innate leafiness.

Still missing the helm since I ran out of fine crafting materials. But I will have it....soon :D

Be Careful When Taking Pictures in Public

Scary experience just an hour ago. I usually take a bus/taxi from Buendia to get to work in Ayala. This morning, a group of 10 or so men began to pound on the windows and doors of the bus I was riding. They were pointing at someone inside the bus. I heard them cursing. It sounded like the door was about to break. The bus couldn't leave because more men blocked its way outside.

The worst part is that the bus driver decided to open the door. The men rushed in, shoving me and a couple of other passengers out of the way. The men stopped before a man, who was texting with his cellphone. They shouted at him "Anong pinicturan mo? Sino ka?" ("What did you take a picture of? Who are you?").

They yanked a lady passengers out of the seats so that they could get to the man. "Ibigay mo yung picture!" ("Give us the pictures!") They demanded.

The helpless man responded, "Sino ba kayo? Hindi ko kayo kilala." But the men had already taken his phone and were about to drag him out, perhaps with the intent to beat him up...or worse.

But then they found that the man's phone didn't have a camera. The group of men who had stormed the bus quickly retreated and scattered. I didn't see where they went.

I was shaking. I thought that the men were going to declare a hold up. It's good that I don't use my phone much in public. A similar event also happened to my uncle, who had been taking pictures in a resort some ten years back. A stranger confiscated his camera and took the film, but found nothing there. Said man has been tracking my uncle for years and harassing him, before he finally became convinced that my uncle hadn't been taking pictures of him.

Presenting: Warrior Annetookeen :P

In GW2, I'm a purple-skinned tree-hugger who must defeat a great dragon that creates zombies!

Two Poems to Appear in the Quarterly Literary Review India

Here's another reason to celebrate and hop around merrily (aside from getting to play Guild Wars 2 everyday).

Two of my poems got the thumbs up from the Contemporary Literary Review India (CLRI)! It was my literary best friend, Denver Torres, who introduced me to the pub (he also appears there, here). So I gave it a try as well.

This October 2012, "The Debt Comes Due" and "Reruns" will be published online. Not sure yet about the quarterly printed edition but I'd like to appear there, too, hehe. :D

Yipee!

New Addiction: Guild Wars 2

Well well well, just when I thought I wouldn't be able to find another (good) RPG-type game to play, here comes Guild Wars 2.

It's great! I never liked MMOs, but this one, with its dynamic world events and personal stories, lean more towards traditional RPGs but with a social aspect.

From the moment the character screen opened, the music beckoned. I just knew I was in for a great adventure. I was in denial at first. I didn't want to buy the game because I was gonna play on a macbook pro, which doesn't really have a good video card. I was trying to convince myself that no, the game can't be THAT fun that I should invest not only in a GW2 account but also on a gaming pc.

But lo and behold, two days later I'd bought my own gaming pc and GW2 account and now have a Sylvari warrior to explore the lands with.

Within a week, I became as attached to my Sylvari as I did to the characters from my fave RPGs (Cloud, Tifa, Aerith, Aya, Squall, Rinoa, Ryu, Musashi) just some of the game characters I couldn't let go of for the better part of grade school and high school.

I'll try to get a screencap of my warrior to remember her by just in case I shift to a new character. Bye bye to social life for now :D

Supernatural experiences so far:

I hope I don't add anything else to this list. It isn't fun. O_O

1. Once, I took a pic with my mom, and when the pic came out, there was a white human-like silhouette beside me.
2. Something switched off the lights at home, everyone heard the click of the switches.
3. My old number called me. The sim card was in my wallet.
4. In Dumaguete, something was typing on a fellow writer's macbook, the keyboard keys were moving on their own.
5. In Bacolod, a fellow writer told me she saw a white lady floating above my head while I was asleep.
6. I had dreams warning me of relatives dying. The dreams have always been right

Dark Clouds Overhead

Whew. I may not write much here for a while. Been under this dark cloud (depression?). Well, actually things have been rough lately. I wish they were otherwise. I guess that's just life. You can be happy one moment, and totally in the dumps in the next.

I was usually cheery. Perky. Bubbly. You know, those adjectives people use on people who are hyper. I'll work on getting my energy back. I want that light in my eyes back. But I know I have to get moving. I'm thinking maybe get active in muay thai again, been training for 2-3 times a week so I could up that a bit. I could also return to running more. I also reduced that because of my weird ankle problem plus the intermittent rains.

As for poetry. I have just one in the works...

Can't wait to leave work.

Happy Mondays 96th: Booze, Pizza, Tomatoes and Poetry

I was so excited to read my poem for the 96th installment of Happy Mondays! However, I have this thing with being bad at directions. I was so sure that Tomato Kick Katipunan is the same Tomato Kick in Maginhawa Street.

But hey, waddya know?! I was wrong har har har. And I even dragged my boyfriend along, making him the unlucky victim of my calamity-Carly episodes. I asked the staff of Tomato Kick to give me the telephone number of their Katipunan branch, and well, waddya know?! They gave me the wrong number!

Anyway, we made it, and I guess that's all that matters, right? Tonight, it's not eat, pray, love. It's eat poetry, love! (toinks!)

Despite my mistaking a stranger for my boyfriend, we had a great time! We just wished there were more speakers outside since we missed many of the good stuff being read.

Also got permission to post some of the photos for that night. Thanks, Sir Danny Castillones Sillada :)

I think this is the opening performance.

Angela Barrientos

Chen Sarigumba & Rachel Salud

Danny Castillones Sillada

Jacob Walse Dominguez

JP Hernandez

Lila Shahani

Mac McCarty

Marne Kilates

with Trish Shishikura

Sir Danny with Vince Dioquino

This is my fave pic of all! :D

Three Poems, Two Publications

I've received a couple of acceptances in the past few days, first is for a tanka of mine. This will appear in print, in the February 2013 issue of Bottle Rockets (#28).

The next are two poems entitled The City is a Conch and Flesh for the Weary, which are about to be released online by Our Own Voice. This publication is based in the US, edited by Remé-Antonia Grefalda and Aileen Ibardaloza-Cassinetto.

For many of my tankas, I'd have wished that contributors' copies would be provided, but I guess that financial constraints prevent this. I'll have to save up to buy copies of the journals in which I appear.

Reading up on Origins of the Universe

It's been two years since I graduated and I'm starting to feel like I'm out of touch with my knowledge of science. When I participated in that discussion about the logicality of God's existence, I was told that it is absurd that I have this concept of an event BEFORE the Big Bang. It is absurd because, as the commenter stated, spacetime only came about after the Big Bang. He seemed so sure of it that I began to wonder if the scientific community had reached a consensus while I wasn't looking. This is because last time I checked, what Time is and whether it had a 'beginning' is still being debated.

Anyway, I read some recent journals and found out that the widely accepted inflationary model is being questioned. Let's review this theory:

"the universe started from a point of infinite density known as the Big Bang about 13.7 billion years ago, expanded extremely rapidly for a fraction of a second and has continued to expand much more slowly ever since, during which time stars, planets and ultimately humans have emerged. That expansion is now believed to be accelerating and is expected to result in a cold, uniform, featureless universe."- Physics World

Physicist Roger Penrose begs to detract. The Big Bang is not the beginning, according to him. He thus presents us an alternate theory called "conformal cyclic cosmology" or CCC, which is:

"a cyclical universe without beginning or end in which the Big Bang 13.75 billion years ago was simply one of many. [in 2010, he and his team claim to have detected] a pattern in the cosmic microwave background—radiation left over from just after the Big Bang—that represents the echo of events that occurred before the Big Bang itself." - Discover Magazine

Okay, so here we have the possibility that time before our Big Bang probably isn't as absurd as we thought. But this is a pretty young field and is still being polished.

As I continued my search, it seems like physics is also beginning to tread into the world of philosophy. Two eminent physicist tackle the age old question of "Why do things exist?" Using the Anthropic Principle, Paul Davies cries God in quantum physics; meanwhile Stephen Hawking presents his M Theory, which he claims totally removes our need for a god. In Hawking's own words:

“Because there is a law such as gravity, the universe can and will create itself from nothing,” he writes. “Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist.

Thus, here are the two competing theories on the origins of universe (and God's presence or absence):

1. Stephen Hawking: his M Theory, which is a form of String Theory, suggests that universes are capable of creating themselves, and it is no surprise that life became possible in one of these universes. This concept basically works on the premise that what we have is a multiverse. Read more.
2. Paul Davies: He suggests that God works within the Laws of Physics, that is, he works through quantum uncertainties. In his words, "the existence of observers like ourselves, depends rather sensitively on the form of the laws. If the laws of physics were just any old ragbag of rules, life would almost certainly not exist." - Taking Science on Faith

I guess whatever field we're in, it is human nature to want to know where we came from. We are not and should not be contented with answers like "God made it" or "It has always existed." I think this affects us in how we find meaning in our lives. Science has and is giving us knowledge of the ways by which we came to exist. But meaning comes from asking ourselves, "Why are we here?" We can simplify the matter by thinking about how we were born. I have parents, therefore I exist. But what does this mean for me? I can do two things to find meaning:

1. If Hawking is right, a universe that has no need for God has no need for meaning (save for what we make for ourselves). We are the result of natural processes, our parents getting horny and creating a baby in the process. We in turn, will seek out a mate in our lifetimes to reproduce, as is the way of nature.
2. If Davies is right, someone seems to want me here. Despite the odds, the universe became possible, the Earth became possible, life became possible, my parents met and fell in love. I am the result of love. The meaning of my life is love.

Indeed, this is just me geeking out.

Critical Thinking and the Existence of God

I recently participated in a discussion of sorts in this surprising place where lots of thinkers gather: 9GAG.

It must be true, what they say about how a good sense of humor is a sign of intelligence.

This is the post that claims that one does not have to be an atheist to be a critical thinker. If you read the comments, you'll be really amused:

This is a good topic of debate. For years, I've been hearing/experiencing antagonism from the atheist groups, many of whom claim that theists are stupid. I will not disagree because the truth is, many theists DO show signs of stupidity. What makes a theist stupid? Well here are the reasons:

• Blind faith - "I just believe, okay?"
• Ignorance - "I don't understand what this science shit is talking about, therefore it's not true."
• Dogmatism - "This is what my Holy Book says, therefore it is true."
• Authority - "The Pope said so!"
• Traditionalism - "It's what we've been doing for thousands of years, therefore it's true."
• Fanaticism - "We believe and we want you to believe, so it must be true" - as Luiz Henrique Batista puts it

These are all logical fallacies: Begging the question, appeal to ignorance, appeal to authority, appeal to tradition, appeal to the crowd. Sorry to say, but it makes me ashamed to be part of the theist group. What I see is how many of us have stopped thinking, very far from how the ancients were. It isn't seldom that I hear theists say that science is from the Devil. Why? Because for instance, it has debunked the existence of Adam and Eve, it has found that the world wasn't made in 7 Days, and no, it doesn't flood and volcanoes don't explode because God is angry.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. Blind faith is NO FAITH AT ALL. A theist who attributes scientific truth to the devil insults not just the beauty of how nature works, but also insults the work of the Creator. A true believer will not be afraid to search for evidence and to understand how things work.

On the other hand, theists would also claim that atheists are stupid. From reading around, they also do say some stupid things:

• Absence of Evidence - "You have no proof of God's existence, therefore he doesn't exist"
• Authority - "Many scientists don't believe in a god, scientists are intelligent, therefore there is no God"
• Red Herring - "Theists are deluded, therefore they just made up God."
• Religion - "Christians/Muslims/ have been killing each other, therefore there is no God." 
• Science - "You can't prove God through science, therefore he does not exist"

Surprisingly (or not so), the reasons why an atheist might be stupid appear to be less than the list for theism. Now my comments on each:

On first point, this is an argument from ignorance. In the words of logician Martin Rees' "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence."
On second point, this is non sequitur. The existence of something doesn't rely on the belief or unbelief of many.
Third, attacking the (bad) qualities of a person doesn't prove/disprove the subject at hand.
Fourth, religion is not the same as belief in God (although belief can be a component) and attacking it doesn't really contribute anything to the discussion.
Fifth, this one, I'm divided on. For one it is begging the question. Can science really not be used to investigate the matter of "god"? Or are they saying that the matter of the God-concept is something to be left to the realm of philosophy? This is quite tricky because for a long time, philosophy and science weren't really separate fields since they share the same process of inquiry. I guess the difference would be, science deals with physical things while philosophy deals with ideas. For high school level instance:

Science:

• observation: Plants need sun to grow
• question: Will an onion not grow without the sun?
• null hypothesis: This onion will not grow without sun
• alternative hypothesis: This onion will grow without sun
• Experimental and Control setup: Onion with sun & Onion without sun
• Methodology
• Results
• Conclusion

Philosophy:

• observation: People have an idea of what's just and unjust
• question: Why is there such a thing as justice?
• null hypothesis: Justice is a human invention
• alternative hypothesis 1: Justice was made known to humans by a perfectly just being
• alternative hypothesis 2: The idea of justice is something innate to humans (we're born with it)
• experimentation will be a bit different when dealing with ideas. The philosopher explores the logicality of ideas through a thought experiment. 
• Justice as figment of the human mind (We create ideas to suit our needs)
• Justice as human nature
• Justice as coming from a standard of perfection (We only know things revealed to us)
• Methodology would then be a series of questions like:
• if justice is the fruit of the private human mind, then how do we know which actions are just and unjust? Why do we agree that stealing and killing are unjust acts?
• Left on an island separated from civilization, will humans still have a sense of justice?
• Can there be an idea of justice / injustice if there is no perfectly just being?
• Results
• Conclusion

C.S. Lewis sided with alternative 1, attributing Justice to the existence of a just being. His thought process goes:

My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such a violent reaction against it?... Of course I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if i did that, then my argument against God collapsed too--for the argument depended on saying the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my fancies. Thus, in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist - in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless - I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality - namely my idea of justice - was full of sense. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never have known it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.

Many would say that science is superior to philosophy. Something about "testability" makes it the approach of choice. However, thoughts and ideas are testable, too, thus logic. Many would go as far as to say that the first scientists were the philosophers of old, but that's just another point of argument I won't bother elaborating on.

So after this friggin long post, all I'm trying to say is that critical thinking should be applied to all things. Because while blind faith is no faith at all; blind unbelief is just as lazy. *bow*

Sotto, Plagiarism and Hope (?) for the Future

When I was in university, the punishment for plagiarism was expulsion. This violation is considered so severe that, if one is caught, the student will forever be banned from earning a college degree.

I remember a story about this writer who attended the Siliman National Writers Workshop like I did. Apprently, he'd lifted a story or parts of a story from a known author and passed this off as his own. The panelists were said to have used his work to discus why plagiarism is never acceptable. As the story goes, this writer's college degree was then repealed.

Plagiarism is stealing. It is owning knowledge / genius that's not yours, robbing the true owner of the recognition he deserves. But most of all, it is unjust.

This is why I am expressing my disappointment towards Sen. Sotto. It is ironic that students will be punished severely for plagiarism, but here in the "real world," the very leaders of the country are excused. Why should women put their reproductive rights into the hands of a man so ignorant of what he's talking about that he and his staff resort to stealing other people's work?

From Rappler, Tito Sotto's comment on the issue:

“Itong blogger na sinasabi nila, eh pareho kami ng pinagkunan eh. Ang pinagkunan namin si Natasha Campbell-McBride. And in my speeches, even in my first speech and my second speech, I’ve always said, every now and then sinisingit ko, hindi po ako nagdudunong-dunungan ha. Hindi po galing sa akin ito.”

Furthermore:

“Bakit ko naman iko-quote ang blogger? Blogger lang iyon. Ang kino-quote ko si Natasha Campbell-McBride.” (Why should I quote a blogger? She’s just a blogger. I’m quoting Natasha Campbell-McBride.)

Why, Sir, at least we are just bloggers. You, on the other hand, are just a plagiarist.

McDelivery :S

Wah! It's been over one and a half hours and our food isn't here yet huhu. Late lunch nalang I guess...

First time I tried their online ordering system, and here's my (sad) experience:

1. Go to http://www.mcdelivery.com.ph
2. Fill up form and desired order
3. Call center agent gets in touch within 10 mins
4. Agent tells you to wait 30 mins
5. You wait 30 mins
6. Branch calls you telling you there's no lettuce for the Big n Tasty so they'll give you fries instead
7. After 1 and a half hours still no food :'((

This is why we need the RH Bill

Cept for the abortion part. If ever the PH legalizes it (asa), we should certainly put more thought into it unless women become the victims of what are meant to be pro-choice regulations. Something to learn from what happened in America: choice has become something that's left to the woman. Men are freed from any parental obligation toward their child. Often, if the woman decides to keep the baby, then that's her decision (fault), the man is free to scram because he doesn't have to support the child anyway. Funny how the power to choose has been twisted into a mistake, because the real choice still lies in the man: "I will stay if I want to," "We will keep the child if I want to," "I will support the child if I want to." It's damned if you do, damned if you don't--not exactly the kind of empowerment women had in mind.

Legalization doesn't necessarily mean acts like abortion become ethical. There's a huge diff between "hey let's have sex, nevermind if you get pregnant we can abort it anyway" and "I was raped and impregnated, I don't want this child."

Do what you want, but not at the expense of doing what's right.

An Open Letter to the Admin of KPMG Bldg., Makati

August 7, 2012

Building Administrator’s Office

KPMG Bldg., Ayala Ave., Makati City

Dear Admin:

This is to file my official complaint on your security personnel, assigned to KPMG Bldg. on August 6, 2012. At around 9:50 a.m. of August 6, 2012, I went inside your building, through the outsider’s entrance and had my bag checked by the security guard. I usually encounter two security personnel, one at the bag check and one at the door beside Tea Farm (I was told his surname is Daga). The guard at the bag check always greets me good morning. For the last five months, I often pass through the premises because I buy my milk tea from Tea Farm two to five times a week. NOT ONCE HAVE I BEEN WARNED that I am not permitted to pass through the premises.

However, the security guard assigned to the door right beside Tea Farm (9:50 a.m. of August 6, 2012), stopped me and, in a loud voice, embarrassed me in front of many people. He claims that he has warned me THREE TIMES already that I should not pass through the premises, that it is not allowed. He claims that he and the other security personnel have been TRACKING me and have proof that I, indeed, have not been following earlier warnings, an accusation that is FALSE. I have NEVER been warned, and there is no reason that they should TRACK me as if I am some criminal. Thus, this is purely harassment. Do your guards do this to everyone?

This is tantamount to moral damages to my person, and I am very much tempted to file charges because of this event unless corrective measures are undertaken. Had I known that outsiders are not allowed to pass through KPMG bldg., then I would NOT have done so. It should be made clear to your security that they have the right person and are not merely accusing innocent people of not following some unknown rule. I am very much confident that there is no proof that I am the said person who has repeatedly been ignoring Mr. Daga’s warnings.

Please settle this ASAP or else I will press charges.

Thanks.

Yours truly,

Anne Carly Abad

Netbooster Asia

cabad@netbooster.com

Response to CBCP's "Akerlof Contradicted What?"

On Monday, August 6, the CBCP released a counter article to Rappler's "Nobel Prize Winner Contradicts CBCP."

As the situation goes, a freelance journalist (for Rappler?) contacted Akerlof because the CBCP had cited him to augment their anti-RH argument by using his study on Reproductive Technology Shock. In the CBCP's interpretation of Akerlof's study (read full article here):

Will the greater availability of contraception improve the conditions of the family? Contraceptives bring about the downgrading of marriage, more extramarital sex, more fatherless children, more single mothers, according to the studies of Nobel prize winner, George Akerlof.

Let me comment on this. The concept of "downgrading marriage" is purely the CBCP's interpretation and not a scientific finding of George Akerlof. Yes, there has been an increase in extramarital sex and children born out of wedlock, but this is because of the drop in shotgun weddings (which, I must say, are not really quality marriages if we're talking about downgrading here).

I summarize Akerlof's findings in his America-based study here:

1. Widespread birth control and legal abortion (beginning in 1970) caused Reproductive Technology Shock in the American society.
2. There was a change in social contract between men and women: In the past, American women agreed to have premarital sex with a man only if the man promises to marry her in the event that she gets pregnant. This is called the Shotgun Marriage. Now that contraception and abortion is widely available, American women engage in premarital sex to keep their man. As the study states: "These women feared, correctly, that if they refused sexual relations, they would risk losing their partners. Sexual activity without commitment was increasingly expected in premarital relationships."
3. Change in male / female roles: The decision to keep the child is now left to the female, whether she will abort it or not. Biological fathers have lost the idea of paternal obligation and no longer feel the obligation to marry the mother (Thus the rise of the Single Mom).
4. Conclusion 1: The dramatic increase in out-of-wedlock first-birth rate between 1965 and 1990 is directly tied to shotgun marriages being rendered obsolete.
5. Conclusion 2: The change in social contract between men and women due has proved disadvantageous for women.
6. Note: Akerlof did NOT recommend any restrictions on the availability of contraception nor the legality of abortion.

Akerlof himself, in a written response, said, "In my opinion, giving women, whether single or married, the right to choose can only increase the dignity of marriage and its sanctity." If the CBCP asks Akerlof Contradicted What?, here you have your answer, that you took his study out of context. The CBCP has failed to acknowledge that this research is based in America, premised on the societal fact that shotgun marriages were the established social contract during the day, before contraceptives and abortion became the norm.

But in the Philippines, is this the case? Do women agree to have sex only when they have secured the man's promise to marry her if she gets pregnant? Is the establishment or re-establishment of shotgun weddings better, or in this case "upgrade marriage"? Will marriage assure a better family life? Will contraception destroy existing families or prevent the formation of a good one?

Can the CBCP answer these questions with Philippine-based studies to back them up? Because all I see are moral theories that hardly connect with present societal truths. I see them just merely relying on citing a research here and there to push their Anti-RH argument. CBCP claims that contraception destroys families. Does it? Because last I checked, having children doesn't necessarily keep the family intact, as is evident in the 14 million single parents in the country.

If the contraceptive mentality creates single moms, then I will go with what Akerlof and coauthor Janet Yellen write:

Anyone who fathers an out-of-wedlock child should be forced to help support that child... On top of that, they suggest that men be taxed for fathering children outside of marriage. - from `Technology Shock' Creates Single Moms, Miller

Upcoming: Two Tankas in Atlas Poetica 13 (Fall Issue)

In the midst of these gloomy and dangerous rainy days, I got some good news regarding my poetry. Two tankas of mine will appear in the 2012 Fall issue of Atlas Poetica. :)

About Atlas Poetica:

When MET Press of Baltimore, Maryland, published Landfall : Poetry of Place in Modern English Tanka (2007), it received a landslide of submissions. Thousands of poems were submitted, making it the most sought after tanka venue in the English language. It was only logical to create a journal to provide an ongoing forum for the publication, appreciation, and advancement of tanka poetry of place. Atlas Poetica was born.

Edited by M. Kei, it quickly established itself as one of the distinctive voices in tanka literature. The large format was deliberately designed to accommodate lengthy sequences, shaped tanka, tanka prose, articles, and other items too bulky for the smaller journals. In addition, ATPO reached out to tanka communities around the world, providing a venue to publish tanka in languages other than English, as well as providing lists of resources, announcements, and other information to serve the world tanka community.

Tanka poetry of place embodies the community and environment, both human and natural, through which the poet travels. Groups and places are profoundly important, forming the affective and effective boundaries of the poet’s psyche. Whether contemplating subjects as diverse as an old chest of drawers or a Romanian seashore, tanka poets find connection, meaning, and significance in the previously unremarked proximities of our lives. Tanka poets of place are pushing into new territories and creating new maps of our literary consciousness.

Banned from KPMG Bldg, Makati

I dunno what happened this morning, but I think I look like some girl who did some (criminal?) bad stuff. It's been five months since i started working in Makati, and I always pass by KPMG Bldg. on my way to work because I buy milk tea from Tea Farm. So it's become a habit, and in fact the security guards in that building never seemed to mind, after all, there are restaurants on the first and second floors of that building.

But this morning, the guard stopped me and told me that he's warned me THREE TIMES about not being allowed to pass through KPMG Bldg. Excuse me? Three times? I wasn't even forbidden ONCE. So I'm not even allowed to buy my milk tea? The hell. He even told me they'd been tracking me and I've been disregarding their warnings...what??? I tried to explain to Mr. Guard that he's never told me I wasn't allowed to be in that building. But he kept insisting that I'm that person he's been warning several times. Whoever that person is, that's not me, Sir. (as if he'll read this O_O)

No more morning Tea Farm for me, I guess -_-