Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Disappointing Filipino

Filipino? What is a Filipino? What have we become?

You know you're Filipino when you:
  1. Take any or all the lanes despite the fact that there's a Motorcycle Lane for motorcycle drivers like you.
  2. Drive on sidewalks because it helps you bypass traffic.
  3. Cross the highway despite the fact that there's a footbridge right beside you.
  4. Tailgate an ambulance to get through the heavy EDSA traffic.
  5. Cut lines. For you, lines are made to be cut.
  6. Don't offer your seat to pregnant women.
  7. Don't offer your seat to senior citizens.
  8. See that someone has forgotten her cellphone and decide to keep the cellphone because it's your "lucky day."
  9. Tamper your taxi meter with this thing called batingting.
  10. Accept kotong.
  11. Are a fixer.
  12. You've used a fixer.
  13. Require additional money, aka pampadulas, to process government documents like building permits.
  14. Bomb beautiful reefs to catch fish.
  15. Pick on #Amalayer girl but proceed maltreating your helpers.
  16. Think you're an edukada just because you can speak English.
  17. Make it your goal to go abroad, work and make loads of dollars.
  18. Vote your favorite artista into the Senate or Presidency because fuck progress.
  19. Don't think for yourself because the "Church said so."
  20. Massacre the media to hide your dirt.
  21. Stop the passing of agrarian reforms because you're a haciendero.
  22. Love People-Power-Ousting your presidents.
  23. You obediently follow the rules in foreign lands, but ignore the ones here in the Ph.
Well, I can go on forever. We're quite a badass people, aren't we?
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