the sword that speaks: Buffet, wine, ratatouille and poetry

Cooped up in my cubicle, I have to say I've kind of lost touch with a part of me that just wants to sit back and enjoy everything that's beautiful. Yes, I still write. But it's not the same as before, when I was around people to whom I could easily discuss literary works with. In school, I had my professors, plus friends who love to read. I could just show them what I'd made and didn't have to fear the word "criticism." Sometimes they'd nod, more often they'd scratch their heads as though saying "What the hell is this?" But all that was fine with me. I'd still write, and like a child to her mom, tell them to have a look.

And then, well, I joined these writing workshops, which were the start of my fear. I became worried about every single thing: technique, voice, point of view, etc. etc. It was especially true with poetry. I stopped showing them around since I feared some people might read and, well, laugh at them. I know criticism is a large part of a writer's life, but recently I've begun to wonder where the line between criticism and ridicule lies. I believe one is supposed to look at a piece of work separately from it's author. That's the only way to be really objective. However, I've seen too many instances of criticism becoming an avenue for personal attack to believe in its legitimacy. At those moments, I felt like I was watching a real-life version of Mean Girls, only it wasn't just the girls who were nasty.

On March 17, 2011, the 13th Printemps des Poetes was held at the Alliance française de Manille. I was fortunate enough to attend and have the chance to read, thanks to Sir Krip Yuson, Ms. Deanna Ongpin-Recto (President) and Mickaël Balcon (Deputy Director). I was scared, because I was going to read my own poem. MY OWN. I've never done that before! Poems, for me, are just too personal. I think about all the emotions I put into them and just can't bear the thought of strangers looking into them, dissecting every word like a rotting cadaver. You could say it's as though I've just posted a piece of my journal for all the world to see.

But that's not how I felt that evening. Everyone was just doing their thing. It didn't matter if they were Palanca Hall of Famers, or civil engineers, or fitness buffs, or computer science students, or teachers, or copywriters (like me). Everyone had something to show. And everyone wanted to listen, or at least that was how I felt.

I was in the company of friends. I could show them what I made, and leave the stage without feeling like fleeing.

And this was everyone:

Part 1

Abdon Balde - Dream of Skycrapers
Yanna Verbo Acosta - Dreamscaping
Francisco Llaguno - Ang kalikasan at ang mga tao
Mikael de Lara Co - Permanence
Joel Salud - Faith
Christine Joy O. Castillo - Les paysages en moi
Beatrix Syjuco - Domino Nation (Bravo to her performance!)
Asha Macam - Clouds
Jacques Chessex by Markus Ruckstuhl - Je regarde la chaîne des Alpes
Ed Maranan - Sailing on the Fourth of July
Vim Nadera - Epiko ko (another astounding performance, accompanied by Tapati (vocalist of Davao's Bagong Lumad)
Alfred A. Yuson - The beach, plus Pablo
Maxine Syjuco - Weeds and Rags
Ariana Pozzuoli - The joke is on you!

Buffet Break! That's the first time I had ratatouille. Also had those ham things I can't name. The wine was great, by the way. :b

Part 2

Jacques Brel by Tata Poblador accompanied by Pr. Lester Demetillo- Ne me quitte pas
Mookie Katigbak - As far as Cho-Fu-Sa
Cesare A.X. Syjuco - The world turns
Noel del Prado - Hardin sa Ibawaw ng Davao
Gémino H. Abad - Casaroro Falls (This is the piece that touched me the most that night, not only because I can relate to Sir Jimmy's sublime imagery, but also because of the spiritual topic it grazes upon through an encounter with nature's precarious beauty)
Marne L. Kilates - Bangaan
Victor Peñaranda - At the Buddhist Garden
Alma anonas Carpio - Mountain song
Virgilio S. Almario by Marivic Rufino & Marne L. Kilates - Halimuyak ng Pulo
Johanna Fernandez - Currents
Ramon C. Sunico - Mindoro
Andrea Levinge - The deepening sea
Anne Abad - Fern
Gian Paolo Lao - In my country