Angry, though I wish I wasn't. And I'm not usually angry. Only when I feel like I was treated unfairly. Not that I always treat people fairly. Sometimes I forget what my friends like/dislike. I forget to comfort someone grieving. I'm too busy to congratulate someone on his/her success. I almost lost these friends to whom I committed these faux pas on.
While in this rotten mood, I got thinking about this thing called "expectations."
They say one should get rid of all expectations. Sometimes I believe in this, when I'm fighting off feelings of disappointment. But sometimes I just end up questioning things. No expectations would mean we have free reins on everything. Nothing can be called good or bad. Wrong or right.
In a sense, it nullifies everything one tries to achieve in life.
No expectations = no need to pass that course in college. no need to work for a better life / future. no need to cherish friends and take care of them. no need to find a career. no need to fight for what you believe. I could go on forever.
To expect pertains to the future. What one wants to happen. What one believes he/she will get. In a sense it also involves trust. You believe that the expected thing will be done or will happen (as if life owed that to you). So what exactly is wrong with having expectations? Does it merely set the ground for being unreasonable?
I dunno. All I know is I got really angry when the faux pas was done to me. And am not liking this feeling. No wonder my friends reacted that way to me.
What brightened my day was an acceptance letter from the Philippines Free Press notifying me that my poem "Tunnels" will be published tomorrow.